Social work (LISW), writer, blogger, quirky primate
3 Notes
1. Received my independent social work license (LISW).2. Turned 30 and loved it.3. Ran a half marathon and lived.4. Said goodbye to a toxic parent.5. Attending 5 beautiful weddings, including a trip to Boston.6. Hit my goal weight, losing 82 lbs.7. Achieved my lifetime WeightWatchers membership.8. Spoke to a class of teenage girls twice (once as a poet, once as a social worker).9. Wrote my 7th Nanowrimo novel.10. Made awesome new holiday traditions and family connections.
Anna and Carrie from Nanowrimo. My Grandma Benedetti, who I hadn’t seen in a long time prior to this holiday season.
A whole slew of newly married couples. A ton of our friends got hitched this year, and a lot of my cheering this year was done at weddings.
I understand limitations, both my own and those of other people. I am limited in that I am able to maintain a healthy weight, but not always by way of a perfectly healthy lifestyle (I’m less active than I was during half marathon training). I am limited in other ways, but that’s a new one for me. In terms of other people’s limitations… in January, I was still worried about what unknown thing I’d done to make it hard (once again) for my mother to just love me, and now I understand that her limitations simply don’t allow her to love people without that love becoming inevitably twisted and cruel. I understand limitations and my new relationship to others’ limitations, not just my mother’s.
Largely, what I want from relationships and what I won’t accept. Ending an abusive relationship clarified a lot of my relationships and what I want/don’t want from them. I’m better able to explain myself without standing under an oppressive umbrella of emotional abuse and manipulation. I’m also able to explain how I became the healthy person I am now that I’ve crossed the finish line. Last year I wasn’t sure how I was going to get to my goal weight, but I knew I would get there. Now, I’m past the finish line and able to talk about the entire journey. “I lost 82 pounds and here’s how I did it,” is a cool thing to be able to explain.
1. On the other side of a half marathon finish line. Hot damn but that was a big moment for me. :)2. In my paternal grandmother’s living room last week. In ending certain relationships this year, I’ve found room in my life and confidence within to allow new relationships to grow. That was an unexpected blessing this year, and a wonderful way to end the holiday season, with someone who has loved me continually during every absence.
Beloit, Ohio.
The messages that people recorded for my half marathon playlist were absolutely amazing. A hug from Laura when I arrived in NYC to travel to her bachelorette party in June. The moment when I sat down in front of therapist and put it all on the table and heard the words “congratulations on an amazing first step.” Every moment this year when I’ve needed the peace and quiet of home and Jim has given it to me. Every moment when I’ve laughed, mostly with Jim when I least expected to be able to. The hug I shared with my grandmother when I left her apartment last week. The family and friend time I’ve shared this holiday season with a drama-free group of people.
First, I ran a half marathon. Second, I ended an abusive relationship I’ve agonized over for three decades of my life. Third, I hit my goal weight, losing 82 pounds. Fourth, I kept that motherfucking weight OFF for the rest of the year. Oh, and I wore DRESSES this year. Oh, and I purchased a BATHING SUIT and wore it in front of other people. I also spoke to a room full of teenagers TWICE, first about my book of poetry and then on career day (scary). I did a whole lot of shit this year that makes me really fucking proud.
This blog entry is one of my favorite that I’ve ever written. I’ve gone back and read it more than once: http://brandicesays.tumblr.com/post/6287854605/wishing-for-time-travel
This year I would say this would be one of my interactions with a patient, one that left me changed for the better and left the patient a little less lost. My job allows me to have a lot of these moments, but one in particular this year was pretty special.
“What is family?” The answer for me has involved allowing myself to be closer to a lot of really special people this year and accepting that genetics plays no part in the family that has emerged for me at the end of 2011.
Boston. Between Laura’s wedding and the days Jim and I spent there afterward, it was a really wonderful vacation.
Achieving a healthy weight and learning to maintain it. I didn’t have a handle on food or my health long before I became overtly fat, so that’s a battle I’ve been struggling to win for a LONG time. I also finally turned in my supervision hours and got my independent social work license (LISW), which is pretty friggin’ cool!
I finished a volume of really beautiful poetry by Rumi. He’s an artist in every sense of the word.
It’s hard to pick just one from a year that including a half marathon, 5 weddings, two bachelorettes, and hitting my goal weight. There are a LOT of great pictures from 2011 that I’ve gone back and looked at more than once, but my sentimental pick would be this shot of Jim and I (we always look so relaxed and happy when we get away and just spend time along together!) and my photography pick is this one (for whatever reason I’ve gone back and looked at it several times… just love the image).
The ongoing (now two-years going) memo-versation I have with Laura. I tell her everything, I talk to her almost daily and sometimes multiple times a day, and the advice and support she’s given me this year has been invaluable. I hope the replies I’ve recorded and emailed back to her have done the same. She’s family. :)
The parking fees outside of House of Hunan in Akron, where I’ve had some of my favorite lunches with Tim and Rob, two psychiatrists that I work with. Two nerds, great green tea, sushi, and lots of talk about books and science fiction and generally nerdy subjects… totally worth the occasional $1 for parking and a great break during the work day.
The package Laura sent me earlier this fall that had a plethora of fun items, the funniest of which was a random red and black granny square (and a Dave Barry book I plan to dive into one of these days).
4 Notes
Before & After: Winter Parka on Flickr.
I randomly found these two similar pictures of me in my big bulky winter parka in winter of 2010 and winter of 2011.
Holy face change, batman!
14 Notes
308:365 Rings Re-Sized 3.75 on Flickr.
So, the Friday after my weigh-in that earned me my Lifetime membership at WeightWatchers, I almost lost my engagement ring at work because it nearly slipped off of my finger.
I had the rings resized a few months ago to 4.25 when I thought I was done shrinking, but apparently they needed to be made smaller (3.75).
I was nervous because my hands have never been smaller than a 4, but the jeweler said a person’s hands also shrink as they get older, so it makes sense that my normal ring size is smaller at 30 than it was at 20.
They’re still loose in the cold, but don’t come off and fit fine when my hands are warm.
Just a little weight loss milestone after I thought I wouldn’t be having another one for a while. :)
10 Notes
I got a nice surprise at work today. A REALLY nice surprise.
Yesterday, I filled out paperwork to cancel my membership in my employer’s health program. The hospital offers an employee program for something like $2/week that gives you access to a dietician for help with meal planning, lab work on a regular basis to monitor things like cholesterol and blood pressure, and they give you little healthy treats once a week in the cafeteria.
The program is great, but I signed up two weeks before joining WeightWatchers and never even completed the blood work, so I just haven’t used the program and that $2 adds up. When I emailed the coordinator to cancel, I explained that I’m already successful with WeightWatchers and want to stick with that. She was very understanding and actually offered me an appointment to come in this morning and have the dietician do one last set of measurements.
I had completely forgotten that I’d had my BMI, body fat percentage, weight, waist, and hips measured just two weeks before joining WeightWatchers, so this was a really cool opportunity to have just days after hitting my goal weight. I’ve been kicking myself throughout this journey for never measuring my physical changes and here was sudden access to a full set taken at the very start of 2010.
Here’s the run down:
BMI over 30 is OBESE, and anything over 39% body fat is Very High. Also, can I just note that nearly 42% is almost HALF of my freaking body?! Cripes. Waist hip ratio tips me into the Moderate health risk range. Not ideal.
BMI and body fat are both smack in the middle of the Normal range, with more than a 15% decrease in body fat! I lost 9.5 inches at my waist and 10.5 inches at my hips, giving me a .71 waist hip ratio, which is in the Low health risk range. Woo!
This is scientific, mathematical PROOF that I have decreased health risks and made enormous strides toward becoming a much, MUCH healthier person. Losing a total of 80 pounds is really cool, but looking at data like this puts every one of those missing 80 pounds in perspective.
I don’t just look 80 pounds lighter. I’m now less likely to develop diabetes, hypertension, and cardiovascular diseases (which, by the way, also reduces my risk of dementia later in life), which could add years to my life.
THAT, my friends, is damn good justification for all the portion control and hauling my jiggly ass around the block in the snow over a year ago. What are YOU waiting for? :)
I bought this cardigan like four years ago for a penny (not even kidding). I hadn’t worn it until today. Uh, score.
One of my favorite parts of this special. @louisck is fucking stunning.
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